Oh, English Majors.

I always think it's funny now...when people ask about my schooling.  I was twenty-one years old...a semester away from a degree in Social Work, only my practicum left to finish...and what did I do? I called my parents together and announced that I was breaking up with my live-in boyfriend, moving to a new place and changing my major to English. I was going to be a writer!  Ha!

Fifteen years later and what do I do? Social work, basically!  Funny how things work out.  Anyway, I'm glad of the path I took...I have my giant book of the Complete Works of William Shakespeare and my volumes of poetry by T.S. Eliot and Anne Sexton...  my Oxford English Dictionary and big Thesaurus to show for it all.  And my big vocabulary.  And my student loans.  *sigh* 

But really, I enjoyed college. I'd like to go back someday and get a PhD in Disability Studies.  And at any rate, it was my degree in English and consequent unemployment after graduation that led me to substitute teaching for MPS...which led me to the special education program...which led me to my love for working with kids with disabilities.  Where in the end, I'm putting my almost social work degree to good use.

And I'm a writer of sorts. A blogger.

Some day I will write a book. It is on my list of five dreams I've had since I was twelve. Wanna know what they are?

1. Join the Peace Corps

2. Fall in love

3. Make a record

4. Write a book

5. Hold a monkey

Here's to dreams!  And English majors.

Good Morning

Today I woke up to the sound of footsteps on the stairs.  I sat up and rubbed my eyes and Lucy was standing in the doorway in her jammies.  She climbed into bed with Tad and  I and cuddled up, allowing us to keep our eyes closed a little longer.  After a little while, we heard more footsteps and Coen was on the stairs too.  Lucy hopped out of our bed and followed him into the living room, both of them cozying up on the couch with their stuffed animals and bed sheets.

I made us some hashbrowns and homemade biscuit sandwiches with eggs and havarti cheese.  The four of us ate in the living room picnic style and no one once mentioned the television.

After we'd eaten, Coen dragged out the old organ that Tad had bought at a rummage, and a recorder and drum.  I got my guitar and the four of us sang and made music until late in the morning.  It was something.

Tad and I traded off verses, making up a song about the kids and they played along.  We ended our musical morning with a trip to the farmer's market on our bikes, the summer breeze turning cool.

Later, when Lucy was having her 'rest time' and Tad and Coen were both away, I strummed my guitar and thought two very important things: One--I love my family and Two--I need to start making music again.

Boulevard Bashed

The Washington Heights Boulevard Bash has been going on for some years now, but we've never gone.  But today...lo and behold, we had a Saturday, with nothing planned! 

My sister came over with her kids in the morning and we got to chat and drink coffee while the children built forts out of blankets and pillows and mattresses hoisted off the beds.  I also got a very sleuthy text from my friend and neighbor who let me know that a dollhouse that has been on sale at a rummage for many seasons running was finally down to the price I wanted it to be!  I snuck down there with coaster wagon and my check book and now I have 1. a lovely fix-up project to work on in the months to come and 2. a 4th birthday present for Lucy.

After today's rest and a viewing of Fraggle Rock accompanied by goldfish crackers and fruit leather, all around, Tad, Coen and I got on our bikes--Lucy in the chariot behind me-- and we went to the Bash on Washington Boulevard.  Going there was free and we purchased food and drink at a dollar per item.  Soda, sliders, spring rolls, chicken satay, hot dogs, gelato (well that one was more than a dollar).  And we had a lovely time.  We ran into many friends, acquaintances, and neighbors.  Coen rode his bike, around the entire time, stopping only to eat and drink.  Lucy dug in wood chips with one friend and stones with another and placed her sticky warm hand into mine at all other times.

I just finished giving her an unexpected bath as she was covered in dust, wood chips, stones and dirt and tucked her away in bed.  I am enjoying a few minutes of blogitude before Tad comes down from Coen's room. 

Oh how I love summer in Milwaukee with all its free-ness and warmth and people abound. 

Here's a photo of my dirty but beautiful daughter and her kitty face painting.  Made up lullabies are a nightly occurrence at our house.  Tonight's was about Coen and Lucy going to the pet store to buy a purple kitty. At the end of the song, Lucy informed me that she didn't think the pet store would have a purple kitty. Only a white one with purple spots.

Parenthood loves company

A spontaneous group trip to Yo Mama for frozen yogurt.

A picnic lunch at Hoyt Park after a morning of swimming and sand play.

Lucy and her friend Rain on a topless stroll.

Neighborhood kids enjoying a snack and some zone out time.

Now, please don't think that I'm trying to say that parenthood can be put in place of 'misery' in the above phrase... Indeed that is not what I mean.  But I will say this:  I have had to work all summer. I have had to work a lot. Tad has been home with the kids and each day, leaving, while they are all cuddled up on the couch, watching cartoons, Tad drinking coffee...I have been so envious.  Well, this week, Tad went back to work and I stayed home with the kids.

(pause here.  Tad went back to WORK! How glorious is that!)

Anyway, Tad went back to work and I have been with the kids Wednesday through Friday of this week as we did not have any other daycare options.  I was so excited. Finally! Finally, I get to be home with my kids.

And when Wednesday morning came, I expected lazy bliss, drinking coffee on the couch while my children peacefully watched Sesame Street.  Did that happen? No.  I put my coffee down several times to get up and referee such arguments as "He's touching me!" "She's on my side of the couch!" or simply "STOP! Don't!!!"  Erg!

After the not so relaxing morning time, I planned on us going to the grocery store together. How lovely it would be. We'd all pick treats for our Washington Park picnic night and they'd each push a cart and we'd have a wonderful time.  Wrong again.  Lucy wanted a car cart and Coen wanted to ride in too, but as he's almost 8 years old, he does not fit in a car cart, especially when trying to fit beside his sister.  Oh the fighting that ensued.  Then I finally got him interested in pushing his own cart and halfway through the produce section, Lucy wanted to push HER own cart too. After the trouble of dragging them both back out to retrieve one, hers was abandoned in the juice aisle. 

After that exhaustingly frustrating venture, we came home where there was more bickering and my patience grew thinner and thinner. I thought to myself...what is WRONG with me? Why can't I enjoy my own children? Why can't I even HANDLE my own children?

Then the neighbors came over and suddenly each of my children had a same-aged peer and there came the peaceful bliss I was hoping for.  While I enjoyed conversation with a peer of my own.

So we passed the rest of our three days home together among other parents and children, and I enjoyed it almost thoroughly. 

Yesterday, we stopped at our neighbors to play and I heard another parent complain of the impossible trip to Target they'd taken. A trip during which both of his children had to be dragged from the store.  I had to smile.  I was not taking pleasure in his pain, mind you, but the fact that I was not alone in it. 

Being a parent is hard.  But we try, we try, we try. And we love our kids and someday they will grow up and away from us and we will miss these days dreadfully.  Isn't life funny?

Happy Friday.

credit credit credit cards

My son thinks that our debit card is just this magical thing that has an endless supply of money on it.  I have explained to him that it is not as such.  When I use a credit card, I explain to him that with THIS card, you acutally have to pay more than what something costs when you use it.  Every time I pay for something now, he says, "You're NOT using the credit card, are you?" with a hint of panic in his voice.  Its probably a good reminder.

Now that our one-income days are dwindling down, and its summer and there are so many things to do and see, we are living on credit a bit.  Our bill isn't as big as some, but its a bit bigger than I'd like it to be.  But I guess, after our year, having a small amount of debt going into it is to be expected.

Once that first Friday comes when we have two paychecks instead of one...I hope to begin to do two things.

1. catch up

and then

2. get ahead.

I'm looking forward to it at any rate.  Ha ha. rate.

On school supplies...and how in the world is my daughter going to exist in society.

We went school shopping on Friday.  Tad and I were worried at the start, as the kids were going on a long few days of not quite enough sleep...and quite ENOUGH of each other.  We decided the solution was to conquer and divide. Lucy and I took one cart and her list while Tad and Coen took another cart and Coen's list.  

Tad and Coen took it leisurely, talking and looking at things.  I tried to focus on the list, navigating the cart up and down aisles while Lucy became irate that I was not paying her enough attention. When we met in the food section, all four of us.  Tad had a near empty cart, a cheerful child, near-full school supply list and a smile on his face.  I had almost everything we needed and some of Coen's as well, an extremely cranky child, and most likely a very disgruntled look on my face. 

Humph.  Isn't that just life though. I try so hard to get things done WHILE parenting that I don't always get any of it done that well.  Tad just focuses on parenting, which, in turn, can leave the tasks unfinished. Oh, is there no middle ground?

So I took Lucy and we finished shopping off Coen's list while Tad and Coen picked dinner supplies and a dessert for the evening. (Thank you Target grocery section).  Both kids got a new outfit for the first day of school and Tad and I splurged on iced coffees at Starbucks (I'm sorry god or goddess of independently owned places). 

We got home in one piece with our stuff...but it had me thinking. How in the world is my daughter... my strong-willed, loud, independent and stubborn little girl going to go to school and exist within a community and listen to ANYONE?!!!  I know, I know, she will.

And aside from all those qualities, she is so extremely smart and kind and loving and gentle when she wants to be, and a wonderful little individual.  I am sure she'll be fine.

Here is a picture to illustrate my concern.  Don't worry; it's not as it looks. She is actually showing off a bug bite.

Don't be afraid of the sun

People can be afraid of the sunshine, I think.  Both literally and figuratively.  Tad took a picture of Lucy yesterday, swinging, with the sun behind her.  He takes a lot of pictures of people with the sun behind them.  They are always beautiful.  He says, people are always afraid of the sun in pictures..asking people to reposition so the sun is behind the photographer instead.  Today, I'll share some of Tad's sun shiny pictures with you.  And a thought.
Don't be afraid of the sunshine.  It won't burn you if you use it right.

Sorry this is sideways..but here is my sister pregnant with her first.

Me in Door County at the Windmill house.

Coen and I in 2004

Coen at a playground in Ireland.

Lucy, yesterday..this photo was the inspiration for today's blog post.

The optimists club

An optimist phrase, I tend to believe in.

Over the weekend, I went to Sturgeon Bay with two friends, also mothers at Coen's school.  We had a wonderful time, talking on the way up and stopping for lunch in Algoma, and just doing nothing really.  How lovely it was to do just nothing.  When we first arrived, at 3:00, all three of us wondered...what should we do? I'm used to kids being around, snacks needing to be made, activities needing to be planned, arguments needing to be refereed.  So a night of talking and talking and eating and more talking was just what I needed.

Anyway.

Whilst we were in Algoma, there was a big community festival going on and we passed a tent of people selling hot dogs and their banner read, "The Optimists".  Well, needless to say, being an optimist myself, I was quite excited.  An Optimists Club! What could happen. Do they show up to their picnics and say, "Well, its raining, but wow, the grass sure needed it!"  Or "Jim's not here tonight and he was going to take minutes, but now I can finally practice my shorthand!"  or WHAT?!  I went to inquire and apparently there is a group called Optimist International and they work with youth. Strangely this aligns with my career, so I've been looking around the Internet about this.

Anyway.

What it got me thinking about is optimism in general, most specifically my own.  I know I tend to be rather cheery.  I get questions like, "Are you ALWAYS happy?" or "Do you EVER get mad?" Now, those who are closest to me know that no..I'm not always happy and yes..I sometimes get mad.  But I also know that even my anger can be rather amusing and entertaining.  I move in a cartoon like rapidity when I'm mad.  My voice becomes high...also cartoon like.  I say the first thing that comes in my clouded head which, generally, is rather silly, extreme or just plain weird.  I lean to the side of cheeriness most of the time.  So I wonder, is this annoying, this trait of mine? Do I need to be more of a realist?  Is "everything is going to work out; it ALWAYS does!" a phrase that makes my loved ones want to wring my cheerful little neck?  I do not know. But I do know that I enjoy my outlook most of the time.  I try to have at least some FUN most of the time and to remain positive.  So maybe I'll start my own optimist chapter in Milwaukee.  A chapter not that works with youth but that sits around and spews optimism.  You won't come to such a club, you say? Well that's okay! At least I'll get some practice being alone in a silent room!

Or...here's another take on the subject.

Girl time!

Last night, Tad went to see a friend in Madison and Coen went on his annual trip with Tad's parents.  They like to take him on some kind of adventure. This year they went hiking in the Devil's Lake area.

So it was just Lucy and me at home.  We put on dresses and had a girls night out!  First we drove to the east side and went to Alterra for coffee.  (and juice for Lucy). Then the two of us went to play at the park.  I even indulged her and went down the double slide with her, holding hands.  Finally, we went out to a fancy party.  My friend Laura, who works at Mandel Group in Milwaukee, asked me to come to the grand opening event of a new luxury high rise apartment building.

Lucy and I ate free appetizers, drank free beverages, listened to a band, and walked around touring the units in the buildings.  In one apartment, Lucy was reclining on a couch with designer pillows all around her, a panoramic view of Milwaukee behind her.  She yelled out, "I LOVE this party!" and all the building managers there to answer questions laughed.

Lucy loved going up and down in the elevators and I loved seeing these nice places and the view of my city from up above.  The sun was shining and the lake was so blue and sparkly.  There were sailboats on the water, and you could see all the people walking around.  It really made me appreciate my city.  Sometimes driving around, you stop looking for beauty, things begin to look drab.  But up there, wow, Milwaukee's cool.

This morning I am sitting next to Lucy drinking coffee while she watches Sesame Street.  Later this morning, she and I will go for a bike ride with our friends Jen and August.  It's fun having girl time!

Troubles at Washington Park

So we went to the Washington Park concert and Brew City Bruisers event. We roller skated, we made roller skate crafts, we ate free hot dogs and watermelon and cookies, we hung out with friends and family. We had a great time.

Until.

Coen rode a borrowed scooter, down an enormous hill that he was told NOT to ride anything down.  Tad and I both saw him from our spot on the blanket, way up on that hill. He was going impossibly fast. We both knew he was going to fall. And he did.  Big time.  Tad and I ran to him.  A nice man picked Coen up.  After he fell, he popped right up, all bloody and screaming.  Tad took Coen and all of us went down by the Urban Ecology Center where some nice staff tried to clean and bandage him up.  Then we took him to the ER.

It was a long night, but Coen's fine. No broken bones, no concussion.  Just a jammed pinkie, a bruise and deep wound on his chin.  Some road rash and cuts and bumps and scrapes. But he's fine. And he's learned a very valuable lesson.

Plus no scooter for the rest of the week.

Coen's worst injury--his chin.

At about 10:00 p.m., all fixed up, the kids got giddy. Coen is reminding Lucy of all the blood.

A bandaged and cleaned up boy.

Washington Park tonight!!

Tonight, my family will go to Washington Park to hear live music and eat a picnic dinner on the hill.  But tonight is going to be even more exciting than usual!  It's the annual Brew City Bruisers (Rolly Derby!) appreciation picnic!  I'll be there with my family as will many others from our school, our neighborhood and our community at large!  There will be roller skating, canoe rides, fishing, face painting, arts and crafts, food and live MUSIC!!!  And all of it is FREE!!  I am really looking forward to it.  Aah, summer in Milwaukee, how I love you.

A thank you blog

Many people helped my family this year.  Many.  I am going to try my best to make a list of those people for whom I am very thankful....

• For my parents and Tad's parents who said they would help and support us no matter what and did and continue to do so... 
• For the vacations, the babysitting, the dinners, the lunches and the breakfasts, the purchases of childrens' shoes, extra household items, and fixing things at our house...and on and on and on...
• For my sister, who brought over dinner, invited us for dinner and took me out to dinner...
• For my colleague Matthew who anonymously donated gift cards which enabled me and my family to go out to dinner and me to go out with my girlfriends
• Speaking of anonymous...for the anonymous 16 who gifted us the most creative, generous, kind and FUN twelve days of Christmas my family has ever experienced.
• For my cousin Susie, who, when she heard of our situation gave us a very generous gift to help us out.
• For my friends Laura and Nick who gave us a large supply of frozen meats that we could use for meals for weeks and weeks.
• For my neighbors  who are part of the most wonderful neighborhood any one's ever lived in.  They gave us support. Listened to me complain. Share meals with us. And helped us with our children.
• For my coworker Stephanie who EVERY time time she broughtfood for a meeting, gave me the leftovers along with other generosities here and there.
• For my other coworkers who shared with me, and asked me how things were going over the year.
• For my friends who have listened to me worry, reassured me, and been there in general

And for anyone else I forgot, I am SO thankful. I vow now and hereafter to pay it forward as we prepaer (in just two paycheck's time :)) to become a two-income family again.

I am so grateful for the help we received. And for the kindness.

THANK YOU.

You spend what you got!

So one thing I definitely learned over the course of this year is that you need a lot less than you think you do.  Or I needed a lot less than I think I did...or thought I did.. Well, you know what I'm getting at.

When Tad and I first made the decision about this, I remember going into work in tears, talking to my coworkers about how afraid I was and that I didn't know if we could subsist on my income alone...

Now I see that we could.  And it was a nice year.  We only went to three concerts.  All of which were this summer (not paying for any daycare freed things up!) and two of which were the Flaming Lips. (In case you're curious)  We only went out to dinner on other people's kindness, mostly.  We didn't really shop at all.  But it didn't matter. We still had fun. And we still were happy.

I went through my checkbook last August and looked through it for extraneous purchases, trying to see if we really could make ends meet and guess what.  Last June--June 2010, we spent $1,000 on things we didn't actually need: concerts, shopping, movies, restaurants and the like.  Geeez! 

So, yes. I have learned that we can be happy on whatever we have to be happy on. AND that we tend to spend what we have... SO...this year of not spending, we more often than not, were a bit ahead at the end of the month. Whereas last year, when we weren't overly concerned about money, we spent every penny and were often charging groceries come the last week before payday. 

So, like I said, this year, we will try to continue living simpler. Maybe we'll even be able to save enough to take the trip to Estonia next summer I've been dreaming about taking both my kids on!

The end of the road

Well, dear readers, we are coming to the end of our year of living simpler.  Now, I will tell you this. I intend to continue living simpler, but come early September, we will again be a two-paycheck family. 

Unless something fascinating comes up, I intend to focus the rest of this month's blog on lessons learned, gratitude and things of that nature. 

I do not intend to stop blogging--no sir! I am just going to come up with a new blog ideas.  Some thoughts: Something funny every day...this would be a blog about how something amusing happens every single day. I think it owuld be fun and would challenge me to LOOK for these things. Before I had a family and a very responsible grown-up job, a LOT of funny things happened to me.  Well, at least I noticed them.  I got bopped on the head by strangers, stuck up on top of a cooler without a ladder, blown backwards by a out of control carbonation machine, I fell down all the time and I did wierd things.  Do things like that still happen to me? Sure. But I think I notice them less, and get more serious than I want to.  So that is an idea. What do you think, readers?

At any rate...I am pretty proud of us. We did it. We made it through a year with one income, a little help from the great state of Wisconsin and a lot of help, love and support from family, friends and collegues. 

More on that later.  Have a lovely day!

Door county vacation

Last week, Tad, the kids and I piled in the car and followed my parents (in their car) for a Door County vacation.  On the way,we stopped in Sturgeon Bay and went to "The Farm" where the kids got to feed baby goats with bottles and throw feed to the chickens and cows and mother goats.  They got to check out real farm equipment and sit on a tractor.  The highlight was a huge cow who opened her mouth wide for you to throw corn kernels in.  Coen did so quite deftly and then showed his sister, who proceeded to whip corn kernels into the poor thing's mouth, overhand.  We went to the beach after the farm and then to dinner at Julie's in Fish Creek.  Finally we ended up in Ephraim (stopping first at Wilson's Ice Cream--re-named Cookie Doug's my by father and husband who were amused at the near-missing letter 'h' in said flavor.) 

The place we stayed at was called "The Windmill" and was a lovely four-bedroom cottage a little out of the way.  Day two was overcast and sprinking so we went to the Egg Harbor YMCA and did a little swimming and playing indoors in the water.  We had a lovely lunch in Egg Harbor and then Tad and I took the kids Go-Karting.  Or riding in "go-cars" as Lucy said.  They both LOVED it.  That nigt my wonderful parents allowed Tad and I a date night. We mini-golfed at Pirate's Adventure Cove.  We walked around and climbed the tower in Peninsula State Park. We dined at The Cookery in Fish Creek and finished it off with ice cream at Wilson's. 

Day 3, we rented bikes and biked 10 miles through Peninsula State Park.  Coen made it the whole way!  We went to the beach there after and enjoyed the sun and the water and a couple icee's at the snack bar.  That night we ordered pizza from Wild Tomato Wood Fired Pizza in Fish Creek and picked up pies from Sweetie Pie's in Egg Harbor for dessert.  After dinner my dad made a nice big fire and we roasted marshmallows and ate s'mores. After the kids went to bed, Tad and I stayed up, talking and laughing with my parents.

The final day, we all got up and packed and left our lovely little Windmill Cottage.  We spent that last day at the beach in Egg Harbor (the best beach in the whole of the county, if you want my opinion).  We built sand castles and swam and ate lunch.  The way home, the kids concocted some game with their stuffed animals, leaving Tad and I to talk and listen to music.  The whole trip was really great.  It was fun to be with my parents. The weather was mostly wonderful. And we got to do pretty much all there is to do in Door County for a group of 6 with two little kids.  Now, I'm off to eat some of my chocolate covered door county sun dried cherries.