Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Happy Blogging for LGBT families day!

The issues you have read about in this blog--marriage, love, what to make for dinner, shopping with coupons, going down to one income, funny things kids say, frustrating moments in parenting--all of that is common among ALL families, gay, straight, what-have-you....

Today is June 1st, otherwise known as Blogging for LGBT Families Day.  I have many friends who are gay, many of whom have families, wives, husbands, children, and pets!  I truly hope that one day my children are sitting in history class, reading a textbook in disbelief that there was ever a time that a long-term partnership between two men or two women was not legally accepted as marriage.  In honor of today, I share my own story with you...

I grew up with two partying, politically active, uber liberal parents who took me to taverns and parties as much as they took me to rallies, protests and political actions.  There was never a day when I thought that it was wrong to be gay.  The angriest my mom has ever been at me (or at least the angriest I perceived her to be) was when I called from a friend's house to report that I heard Whitney Houston was gay and then proceeded to have a laugh attack on the answering machine.  She called me, fuming.  She wanted me to know that I came off as disrespectful and mean and what if one of her gay friends was there to hear me.  She was ashamed.  So was I.  But that was when I was a teenager, immature, unsure.  But at that same time, I had my first crush on a girl.  Her name was Melissa.  She was brown haired, brown-eyed, super cute.

Both in High School...and in college I was always a little (insert strange sound effects here) different.  In grade school I wore two different colored shoes or socks at all times. In grade eight, for the school talent show, when other kids were doing renditions of madonna, whitney houston, or michael jackson songs, I sang "Everyday" by Buddy Holly.  In high school, I refused to wear make-up, or hairspray, no matter what all the other girls were doing or saying or how much I was shunned for it.  When Jim Henson died, I walked around school wearing black with a floppy crocheted frog tied around my neck.  But you know, no matter the bullying, no matter the teasing...I refused to give into the way people wanted me to be.  They called me "wierd". They called me "nerd", but mostly, I didn't really care. I didn't need a label.  I was Alie!

I had countless crushes on boys before noticing Melissa.  And I went through all the phases in high school and college--heavy metal, alternative, punk, hippie...and not just in the music genres... experimenting, lesbian?, straight? bisexual?  Who knows?!  But through those phases, I tried to stay true to myself no matter what.  When I had another few crushes on girls----I called one of my lesbian friends and also one of my old college friends (who had expressed her homophobia to me) and told them both I might be gay.  Of course the reactions were quite opposite.  But I had the feeling that neither of them quite believed me.  Then I dated a bunch of guys.  Okay, so I guessed I was straight after all.  I wondered if I should call my friends back and say that maybe I cried wolf. 

So now, I'm a grown up (most of the time).  I have two children. I am married...to a man. Falling in love with Tad was the most natural and magical thing that has ever happened to me in my life.  He's my partner. My friend.  And he knows that I think girls are cute too.  He's okay with that.  And so am I.  Because in the end, I'm Alie.  I always have been and I always will be.  No matter what.

Everyone is attracted to someone.  Some people will be attracted all their lives only to people of the same gender.  Some people are attracted to only the opposite.  Some people, both.  The way I see it, we can be attracted to a multitude of different people throughout our lives.  But when we fall in love...we fall in love with a person.  I think all families should be free to BE families...to get married...to have their love seen as valid and to have children together if they so choose.

Pride Fest is in Milwaukee next weekend.  (June 10-12th on the Summerfest grounds) Whatever your label, or your identity, if you're looking for something to do, go out and support those you know and love (and even those you don't know) in the LGBTQ community!!!

2 comments:

  1. Alie,

    Thank you for sharing your story, and for writing such a warm & inspiring blog post.

    Love,
    Nathan

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great story!

    And do you guys want to go to Pride with us? I think the kids would have a lot more fun with friends. :)

    ReplyDelete