Speculations on Santa Claus

For those of you who believe or live with small individuals who believe, Santa Claus is coming tomorrow night.

Coen never wanted to sit on Santa's lap. We tried it twice and then gave up.  We've never tried it with Lucy but I can tell you without having the experience that Lucy's reaction would likely be unfavorable...likely filled with crying, screaming, and clutching at me.  So, no need.  We'll never have the iconic pictures of our kids on Santa's lap.

Here's Beth and I, circa 1982

Speaking of Santa, Coen, though earlier questioning, seems to be back on the believing tip.  I overheard him telling Lucy that tomorrow night when we get home from all our Christmas eve festivities, we have to go to be real nicely so Santa can come. 

On the way to run errands yesterday, Lucy asked me a really amazing and smart question.  She said, "Mommy?  Why does Santa come and bring us presents when Coen and me already have enough toys?"

Wow.

I told her that she was such a smart girl for asking that.  And that Santa brings presents because in the wintertime we have to be inside most of the time and he wants children to have new fun things to play with.  When we got home, she and Coen chose a bunch of toys they don't play with anymore and wrapped them themselves for children who need them.  They're under our tree now.

Well, tomorrow's the night. And since we don't have a fireplace, Santa comes in through our milk door.  So, if Santa comes to your house, however he comes in, I hope you have a wonderful Christmas eve.

Lessons learned on cookie day.

Every year I have a cookie day. Well, I have two. One that is mine and mine alone (usually) and another with my whole extended family.  Today was my cookie day.  As I was leaving work yesterday I ran into my coworker Pam.  Here is our conversation:
Pam: You coming in tomorrow?
Me: No! I took the day off tomorrow to make my gingerbread people
Pam: Oh, that's fun! Do your kids help?
Me: Hell no! I want them to look really good! 
Pam laughs hysterically.


I'm serious though.   I love my gingerbread people. They are my winter art project and I like to listen to sappy holiday music (Sarah McLaughlin Holiday station on Pandora) and decorate gingerbread and then wrap presents all on my own.  
Today turned out quite differently.  Before I launch into the story, here are pictures of my now complete cookies, followed by lessons learned from today.

My ginger-people

Linzer cookies with caramel instead of jam

My swirl cookies

Lessons Learned
1. Never ever use force to get your four -year - old to take medicine she does not like
2. Caramel made out of condensed milk hardens FAST
3. Using dental floss to cut roll cookies is a great idea
4. Sometimes you just don't get your magical cookie day home alone


Lucy, as it turns out, has walking Pneumonia.  The doctor says it's a very mild case and she can pretty much do her usual stuff--we can just expect her not to be quite her normal self.  AND HOW! 
So this morning, I approached her with her new antibiotic that she took yesterday and discovered it was "Duhschusting".  She ran away from me, covering her mouth and saying she would not take it.  We tried cajoling, bribes, threats of shots and back to the doctor. Nothing worked.  I thought about how at the doctor when she did her flu mist and other things she did not like, we just had to hold her down.  So that's what I tried. MISTAKE.  She spit it back out and proceeded to scream and cry for .... wait for it... 45 minutes.  I cried too.  In fact, she stopped crying for a moment when she heard me crying in the other room.  I felt like a brute.  A jerk. A rotten mother.  And she didn't even take it anyway.  In the end, I went to her and cuddled her on the couch and apologized and sneaked it into a small bowl of ice cream of which she ate every last drop.  I guess that would have been a better route.  We're all over it. She's happily rolling out play-doh as I type. 


I may not be getting the solo day I wanted. I may be listening to the Muppets sing Christmas songs instead of David Gray.  I may be catering to my baby girl's needs instead of my own.   But my cookies are made.  They look fine.  Lucy's helping consisted of licking beaters and sneaking sprinkles off the table. 


I have indeed learned some lessons.  And eventually my children won't even want to hang out with me while I make cookies. So I'll enjoy it while I can.  And next time put the tops on the linzer cookies before the caramel gets hard.

Plog bost

A couple years ago, Tad and I realized that our dinners were to hurried and harried with little to no recognition that we were sitting down together as a family or even that we were eating.  I remember us making eye contact as Coen took a bite of something and then ran between the living room and our room, and Lucy spilled her milk and ran for a towel and Coen tried to help her and she screamed.   Then they both sat for another two seconds, two bites of food and were up again looking for a stuffed animal.  We sat down and talked that night and and decided those folks who pray before meals have something there.
Tad and I are not pray-ers really but we decided on a ritual that would slow us all down a bit. Every night we'd each say something that we appreciated about our day and take a moment to say to the universe, "Thank you for our food."

Well, this has evolved into a practice of Tad or Coen singing (to the tune of 'the best part of waking up is folgers in your cup') "the best part of _______'s day..." and then the person fills in the blanks. At the end, we all stand up on our chairs and say loudly "Thank you for our food...and our _______(whatever we were thankful for).  It's good fun.

Anyway, tonight I was trying to sing the part and ended up singing "The parts part of Tad's day..." and then Tad  made fun of me for screwing up the words.  Now, don't you worry..I deserve it.  When people screw up words, I think it is one of the funniest things in the world and I'm the first to poke fun. Relentlessly. Here are some of my favorite word screw ups I've heard and not forgotten.

"Well, I've eaten all the pomegranates I can eaten."  (said by my sister, Beth)

"Now we don't have to bo gack home!" (my friend Brenda in the Peace Corps)

(A conversation between my friend Stephanie and I)
Steph: This is a great candy shop--you can try the fudge!
Alie: Really?
Steph: Yeah, they'll give you a nipple!

Once when I was working at a deli, I was talking about sandwich specials--among them, rotisserie chicken.
Me: And we also have rotickerie chickie

I'm sure there are millions more if I searched my memory banks. But that's what I got for now!

 Nood Ghight!

This is my last blog in this particular blog

Hello everyone.  I have begun a new blog.  It is called Alie's Hand Basket...it can be found at:

http://alie-wherewearegoing.blogspot.com/2011/09/welcome-to-it.html

Please join me.

Thank you so much, all of you who have read, commented on and cared about my blog.  It has been an incredible year. I have learned so much. 

Tad now works at Highland Community School as a lower elementary director (that's teacher--of 1st through 3rd graders).

I still work at IndependenceFirst

Both our kids will be in school this year.

Its a whole new leaf!!!

And I am ready to continue this challenge, and to take on a new one.  The new challenge will be to find something amusing, humorous, funny and silly (these all mean different things to me) about every day in an attempt to be a more relaxed and positive person....  and to get back a little of myself that one loses when they get lost in life.

Thanks again to you ALL!!!  To you who helped and to you who read and to you who supported and loved us. 

Please join me in my new blog!!!

Love,
Alie

New (school) Year's Resolution.

Today was the first day of school. 

First day of second grade for my Coen.  He was excited and happy. His only issue was that he pulled a groin muscle and was very concerned about his ability to sit "criss-cross apple sauce". 

First day of teaching for Tad.  He was excited and nervous.  He's now exhausted and happy. 

Lucy starts next week but that'll be a-whole-nother blog post.

Right now, in my life, I'm working on being a calmer, more positive person.  I bought some tupperware containers (no actually, my sister bought them for me) so I can make lunch packing a more positive experience.  I am also planning on getting the kids involved in the food choices.

My first step is just walking slower.  And sitting with my kids for more than five minutes when they want me. And realizing that the dishes can wait.  I'm excited about this school year, with all three of my beloveds in one place.  I think it will be a year to be more present and more relaxed.

Speaking of relaxed, my kids are tucked away in bed now and Tad is preparing himself for tomorrow.  Day 2.  I think I'll go do the dishes!

Oh, English Majors.

I always think it's funny now...when people ask about my schooling.  I was twenty-one years old...a semester away from a degree in Social Work, only my practicum left to finish...and what did I do? I called my parents together and announced that I was breaking up with my live-in boyfriend, moving to a new place and changing my major to English. I was going to be a writer!  Ha!

Fifteen years later and what do I do? Social work, basically!  Funny how things work out.  Anyway, I'm glad of the path I took...I have my giant book of the Complete Works of William Shakespeare and my volumes of poetry by T.S. Eliot and Anne Sexton...  my Oxford English Dictionary and big Thesaurus to show for it all.  And my big vocabulary.  And my student loans.  *sigh* 

But really, I enjoyed college. I'd like to go back someday and get a PhD in Disability Studies.  And at any rate, it was my degree in English and consequent unemployment after graduation that led me to substitute teaching for MPS...which led me to the special education program...which led me to my love for working with kids with disabilities.  Where in the end, I'm putting my almost social work degree to good use.

And I'm a writer of sorts. A blogger.

Some day I will write a book. It is on my list of five dreams I've had since I was twelve. Wanna know what they are?

1. Join the Peace Corps

2. Fall in love

3. Make a record

4. Write a book

5. Hold a monkey

Here's to dreams!  And English majors.

Good Morning

Today I woke up to the sound of footsteps on the stairs.  I sat up and rubbed my eyes and Lucy was standing in the doorway in her jammies.  She climbed into bed with Tad and  I and cuddled up, allowing us to keep our eyes closed a little longer.  After a little while, we heard more footsteps and Coen was on the stairs too.  Lucy hopped out of our bed and followed him into the living room, both of them cozying up on the couch with their stuffed animals and bed sheets.

I made us some hashbrowns and homemade biscuit sandwiches with eggs and havarti cheese.  The four of us ate in the living room picnic style and no one once mentioned the television.

After we'd eaten, Coen dragged out the old organ that Tad had bought at a rummage, and a recorder and drum.  I got my guitar and the four of us sang and made music until late in the morning.  It was something.

Tad and I traded off verses, making up a song about the kids and they played along.  We ended our musical morning with a trip to the farmer's market on our bikes, the summer breeze turning cool.

Later, when Lucy was having her 'rest time' and Tad and Coen were both away, I strummed my guitar and thought two very important things: One--I love my family and Two--I need to start making music again.

Boulevard Bashed

The Washington Heights Boulevard Bash has been going on for some years now, but we've never gone.  But today...lo and behold, we had a Saturday, with nothing planned! 

My sister came over with her kids in the morning and we got to chat and drink coffee while the children built forts out of blankets and pillows and mattresses hoisted off the beds.  I also got a very sleuthy text from my friend and neighbor who let me know that a dollhouse that has been on sale at a rummage for many seasons running was finally down to the price I wanted it to be!  I snuck down there with coaster wagon and my check book and now I have 1. a lovely fix-up project to work on in the months to come and 2. a 4th birthday present for Lucy.

After today's rest and a viewing of Fraggle Rock accompanied by goldfish crackers and fruit leather, all around, Tad, Coen and I got on our bikes--Lucy in the chariot behind me-- and we went to the Bash on Washington Boulevard.  Going there was free and we purchased food and drink at a dollar per item.  Soda, sliders, spring rolls, chicken satay, hot dogs, gelato (well that one was more than a dollar).  And we had a lovely time.  We ran into many friends, acquaintances, and neighbors.  Coen rode his bike, around the entire time, stopping only to eat and drink.  Lucy dug in wood chips with one friend and stones with another and placed her sticky warm hand into mine at all other times.

I just finished giving her an unexpected bath as she was covered in dust, wood chips, stones and dirt and tucked her away in bed.  I am enjoying a few minutes of blogitude before Tad comes down from Coen's room. 

Oh how I love summer in Milwaukee with all its free-ness and warmth and people abound. 

Here's a photo of my dirty but beautiful daughter and her kitty face painting.  Made up lullabies are a nightly occurrence at our house.  Tonight's was about Coen and Lucy going to the pet store to buy a purple kitty. At the end of the song, Lucy informed me that she didn't think the pet store would have a purple kitty. Only a white one with purple spots.

Parenthood loves company

A spontaneous group trip to Yo Mama for frozen yogurt.

A picnic lunch at Hoyt Park after a morning of swimming and sand play.

Lucy and her friend Rain on a topless stroll.

Neighborhood kids enjoying a snack and some zone out time.

Now, please don't think that I'm trying to say that parenthood can be put in place of 'misery' in the above phrase... Indeed that is not what I mean.  But I will say this:  I have had to work all summer. I have had to work a lot. Tad has been home with the kids and each day, leaving, while they are all cuddled up on the couch, watching cartoons, Tad drinking coffee...I have been so envious.  Well, this week, Tad went back to work and I stayed home with the kids.

(pause here.  Tad went back to WORK! How glorious is that!)

Anyway, Tad went back to work and I have been with the kids Wednesday through Friday of this week as we did not have any other daycare options.  I was so excited. Finally! Finally, I get to be home with my kids.

And when Wednesday morning came, I expected lazy bliss, drinking coffee on the couch while my children peacefully watched Sesame Street.  Did that happen? No.  I put my coffee down several times to get up and referee such arguments as "He's touching me!" "She's on my side of the couch!" or simply "STOP! Don't!!!"  Erg!

After the not so relaxing morning time, I planned on us going to the grocery store together. How lovely it would be. We'd all pick treats for our Washington Park picnic night and they'd each push a cart and we'd have a wonderful time.  Wrong again.  Lucy wanted a car cart and Coen wanted to ride in too, but as he's almost 8 years old, he does not fit in a car cart, especially when trying to fit beside his sister.  Oh the fighting that ensued.  Then I finally got him interested in pushing his own cart and halfway through the produce section, Lucy wanted to push HER own cart too. After the trouble of dragging them both back out to retrieve one, hers was abandoned in the juice aisle. 

After that exhaustingly frustrating venture, we came home where there was more bickering and my patience grew thinner and thinner. I thought to myself...what is WRONG with me? Why can't I enjoy my own children? Why can't I even HANDLE my own children?

Then the neighbors came over and suddenly each of my children had a same-aged peer and there came the peaceful bliss I was hoping for.  While I enjoyed conversation with a peer of my own.

So we passed the rest of our three days home together among other parents and children, and I enjoyed it almost thoroughly. 

Yesterday, we stopped at our neighbors to play and I heard another parent complain of the impossible trip to Target they'd taken. A trip during which both of his children had to be dragged from the store.  I had to smile.  I was not taking pleasure in his pain, mind you, but the fact that I was not alone in it. 

Being a parent is hard.  But we try, we try, we try. And we love our kids and someday they will grow up and away from us and we will miss these days dreadfully.  Isn't life funny?

Happy Friday.

credit credit credit cards

My son thinks that our debit card is just this magical thing that has an endless supply of money on it.  I have explained to him that it is not as such.  When I use a credit card, I explain to him that with THIS card, you acutally have to pay more than what something costs when you use it.  Every time I pay for something now, he says, "You're NOT using the credit card, are you?" with a hint of panic in his voice.  Its probably a good reminder.

Now that our one-income days are dwindling down, and its summer and there are so many things to do and see, we are living on credit a bit.  Our bill isn't as big as some, but its a bit bigger than I'd like it to be.  But I guess, after our year, having a small amount of debt going into it is to be expected.

Once that first Friday comes when we have two paychecks instead of one...I hope to begin to do two things.

1. catch up

and then

2. get ahead.

I'm looking forward to it at any rate.  Ha ha. rate.

On school supplies...and how in the world is my daughter going to exist in society.

We went school shopping on Friday.  Tad and I were worried at the start, as the kids were going on a long few days of not quite enough sleep...and quite ENOUGH of each other.  We decided the solution was to conquer and divide. Lucy and I took one cart and her list while Tad and Coen took another cart and Coen's list.  

Tad and Coen took it leisurely, talking and looking at things.  I tried to focus on the list, navigating the cart up and down aisles while Lucy became irate that I was not paying her enough attention. When we met in the food section, all four of us.  Tad had a near empty cart, a cheerful child, near-full school supply list and a smile on his face.  I had almost everything we needed and some of Coen's as well, an extremely cranky child, and most likely a very disgruntled look on my face. 

Humph.  Isn't that just life though. I try so hard to get things done WHILE parenting that I don't always get any of it done that well.  Tad just focuses on parenting, which, in turn, can leave the tasks unfinished. Oh, is there no middle ground?

So I took Lucy and we finished shopping off Coen's list while Tad and Coen picked dinner supplies and a dessert for the evening. (Thank you Target grocery section).  Both kids got a new outfit for the first day of school and Tad and I splurged on iced coffees at Starbucks (I'm sorry god or goddess of independently owned places). 

We got home in one piece with our stuff...but it had me thinking. How in the world is my daughter... my strong-willed, loud, independent and stubborn little girl going to go to school and exist within a community and listen to ANYONE?!!!  I know, I know, she will.

And aside from all those qualities, she is so extremely smart and kind and loving and gentle when she wants to be, and a wonderful little individual.  I am sure she'll be fine.

Here is a picture to illustrate my concern.  Don't worry; it's not as it looks. She is actually showing off a bug bite.

Don't be afraid of the sun

People can be afraid of the sunshine, I think.  Both literally and figuratively.  Tad took a picture of Lucy yesterday, swinging, with the sun behind her.  He takes a lot of pictures of people with the sun behind them.  They are always beautiful.  He says, people are always afraid of the sun in pictures..asking people to reposition so the sun is behind the photographer instead.  Today, I'll share some of Tad's sun shiny pictures with you.  And a thought.
Don't be afraid of the sunshine.  It won't burn you if you use it right.

Sorry this is sideways..but here is my sister pregnant with her first.

Me in Door County at the Windmill house.

Coen and I in 2004

Coen at a playground in Ireland.

Lucy, yesterday..this photo was the inspiration for today's blog post.

The optimists club

An optimist phrase, I tend to believe in.

Over the weekend, I went to Sturgeon Bay with two friends, also mothers at Coen's school.  We had a wonderful time, talking on the way up and stopping for lunch in Algoma, and just doing nothing really.  How lovely it was to do just nothing.  When we first arrived, at 3:00, all three of us wondered...what should we do? I'm used to kids being around, snacks needing to be made, activities needing to be planned, arguments needing to be refereed.  So a night of talking and talking and eating and more talking was just what I needed.

Anyway.

Whilst we were in Algoma, there was a big community festival going on and we passed a tent of people selling hot dogs and their banner read, "The Optimists".  Well, needless to say, being an optimist myself, I was quite excited.  An Optimists Club! What could happen. Do they show up to their picnics and say, "Well, its raining, but wow, the grass sure needed it!"  Or "Jim's not here tonight and he was going to take minutes, but now I can finally practice my shorthand!"  or WHAT?!  I went to inquire and apparently there is a group called Optimist International and they work with youth. Strangely this aligns with my career, so I've been looking around the Internet about this.

Anyway.

What it got me thinking about is optimism in general, most specifically my own.  I know I tend to be rather cheery.  I get questions like, "Are you ALWAYS happy?" or "Do you EVER get mad?" Now, those who are closest to me know that no..I'm not always happy and yes..I sometimes get mad.  But I also know that even my anger can be rather amusing and entertaining.  I move in a cartoon like rapidity when I'm mad.  My voice becomes high...also cartoon like.  I say the first thing that comes in my clouded head which, generally, is rather silly, extreme or just plain weird.  I lean to the side of cheeriness most of the time.  So I wonder, is this annoying, this trait of mine? Do I need to be more of a realist?  Is "everything is going to work out; it ALWAYS does!" a phrase that makes my loved ones want to wring my cheerful little neck?  I do not know. But I do know that I enjoy my outlook most of the time.  I try to have at least some FUN most of the time and to remain positive.  So maybe I'll start my own optimist chapter in Milwaukee.  A chapter not that works with youth but that sits around and spews optimism.  You won't come to such a club, you say? Well that's okay! At least I'll get some practice being alone in a silent room!

Or...here's another take on the subject.

Girl time!

Last night, Tad went to see a friend in Madison and Coen went on his annual trip with Tad's parents.  They like to take him on some kind of adventure. This year they went hiking in the Devil's Lake area.

So it was just Lucy and me at home.  We put on dresses and had a girls night out!  First we drove to the east side and went to Alterra for coffee.  (and juice for Lucy). Then the two of us went to play at the park.  I even indulged her and went down the double slide with her, holding hands.  Finally, we went out to a fancy party.  My friend Laura, who works at Mandel Group in Milwaukee, asked me to come to the grand opening event of a new luxury high rise apartment building.

Lucy and I ate free appetizers, drank free beverages, listened to a band, and walked around touring the units in the buildings.  In one apartment, Lucy was reclining on a couch with designer pillows all around her, a panoramic view of Milwaukee behind her.  She yelled out, "I LOVE this party!" and all the building managers there to answer questions laughed.

Lucy loved going up and down in the elevators and I loved seeing these nice places and the view of my city from up above.  The sun was shining and the lake was so blue and sparkly.  There were sailboats on the water, and you could see all the people walking around.  It really made me appreciate my city.  Sometimes driving around, you stop looking for beauty, things begin to look drab.  But up there, wow, Milwaukee's cool.

This morning I am sitting next to Lucy drinking coffee while she watches Sesame Street.  Later this morning, she and I will go for a bike ride with our friends Jen and August.  It's fun having girl time!

Troubles at Washington Park

So we went to the Washington Park concert and Brew City Bruisers event. We roller skated, we made roller skate crafts, we ate free hot dogs and watermelon and cookies, we hung out with friends and family. We had a great time.

Until.

Coen rode a borrowed scooter, down an enormous hill that he was told NOT to ride anything down.  Tad and I both saw him from our spot on the blanket, way up on that hill. He was going impossibly fast. We both knew he was going to fall. And he did.  Big time.  Tad and I ran to him.  A nice man picked Coen up.  After he fell, he popped right up, all bloody and screaming.  Tad took Coen and all of us went down by the Urban Ecology Center where some nice staff tried to clean and bandage him up.  Then we took him to the ER.

It was a long night, but Coen's fine. No broken bones, no concussion.  Just a jammed pinkie, a bruise and deep wound on his chin.  Some road rash and cuts and bumps and scrapes. But he's fine. And he's learned a very valuable lesson.

Plus no scooter for the rest of the week.

Coen's worst injury--his chin.

At about 10:00 p.m., all fixed up, the kids got giddy. Coen is reminding Lucy of all the blood.

A bandaged and cleaned up boy.

Washington Park tonight!!

Tonight, my family will go to Washington Park to hear live music and eat a picnic dinner on the hill.  But tonight is going to be even more exciting than usual!  It's the annual Brew City Bruisers (Rolly Derby!) appreciation picnic!  I'll be there with my family as will many others from our school, our neighborhood and our community at large!  There will be roller skating, canoe rides, fishing, face painting, arts and crafts, food and live MUSIC!!!  And all of it is FREE!!  I am really looking forward to it.  Aah, summer in Milwaukee, how I love you.

A thank you blog

Many people helped my family this year.  Many.  I am going to try my best to make a list of those people for whom I am very thankful....

• For my parents and Tad's parents who said they would help and support us no matter what and did and continue to do so... 
• For the vacations, the babysitting, the dinners, the lunches and the breakfasts, the purchases of childrens' shoes, extra household items, and fixing things at our house...and on and on and on...
• For my sister, who brought over dinner, invited us for dinner and took me out to dinner...
• For my colleague Matthew who anonymously donated gift cards which enabled me and my family to go out to dinner and me to go out with my girlfriends
• Speaking of anonymous...for the anonymous 16 who gifted us the most creative, generous, kind and FUN twelve days of Christmas my family has ever experienced.
• For my cousin Susie, who, when she heard of our situation gave us a very generous gift to help us out.
• For my friends Laura and Nick who gave us a large supply of frozen meats that we could use for meals for weeks and weeks.
• For my neighbors  who are part of the most wonderful neighborhood any one's ever lived in.  They gave us support. Listened to me complain. Share meals with us. And helped us with our children.
• For my coworker Stephanie who EVERY time time she broughtfood for a meeting, gave me the leftovers along with other generosities here and there.
• For my other coworkers who shared with me, and asked me how things were going over the year.
• For my friends who have listened to me worry, reassured me, and been there in general

And for anyone else I forgot, I am SO thankful. I vow now and hereafter to pay it forward as we prepaer (in just two paycheck's time :)) to become a two-income family again.

I am so grateful for the help we received. And for the kindness.

THANK YOU.

You spend what you got!

So one thing I definitely learned over the course of this year is that you need a lot less than you think you do.  Or I needed a lot less than I think I did...or thought I did.. Well, you know what I'm getting at.

When Tad and I first made the decision about this, I remember going into work in tears, talking to my coworkers about how afraid I was and that I didn't know if we could subsist on my income alone...

Now I see that we could.  And it was a nice year.  We only went to three concerts.  All of which were this summer (not paying for any daycare freed things up!) and two of which were the Flaming Lips. (In case you're curious)  We only went out to dinner on other people's kindness, mostly.  We didn't really shop at all.  But it didn't matter. We still had fun. And we still were happy.

I went through my checkbook last August and looked through it for extraneous purchases, trying to see if we really could make ends meet and guess what.  Last June--June 2010, we spent $1,000 on things we didn't actually need: concerts, shopping, movies, restaurants and the like.  Geeez! 

So, yes. I have learned that we can be happy on whatever we have to be happy on. AND that we tend to spend what we have... SO...this year of not spending, we more often than not, were a bit ahead at the end of the month. Whereas last year, when we weren't overly concerned about money, we spent every penny and were often charging groceries come the last week before payday. 

So, like I said, this year, we will try to continue living simpler. Maybe we'll even be able to save enough to take the trip to Estonia next summer I've been dreaming about taking both my kids on!

The end of the road

Well, dear readers, we are coming to the end of our year of living simpler.  Now, I will tell you this. I intend to continue living simpler, but come early September, we will again be a two-paycheck family. 

Unless something fascinating comes up, I intend to focus the rest of this month's blog on lessons learned, gratitude and things of that nature. 

I do not intend to stop blogging--no sir! I am just going to come up with a new blog ideas.  Some thoughts: Something funny every day...this would be a blog about how something amusing happens every single day. I think it owuld be fun and would challenge me to LOOK for these things. Before I had a family and a very responsible grown-up job, a LOT of funny things happened to me.  Well, at least I noticed them.  I got bopped on the head by strangers, stuck up on top of a cooler without a ladder, blown backwards by a out of control carbonation machine, I fell down all the time and I did wierd things.  Do things like that still happen to me? Sure. But I think I notice them less, and get more serious than I want to.  So that is an idea. What do you think, readers?

At any rate...I am pretty proud of us. We did it. We made it through a year with one income, a little help from the great state of Wisconsin and a lot of help, love and support from family, friends and collegues. 

More on that later.  Have a lovely day!

Door county vacation

Last week, Tad, the kids and I piled in the car and followed my parents (in their car) for a Door County vacation.  On the way,we stopped in Sturgeon Bay and went to "The Farm" where the kids got to feed baby goats with bottles and throw feed to the chickens and cows and mother goats.  They got to check out real farm equipment and sit on a tractor.  The highlight was a huge cow who opened her mouth wide for you to throw corn kernels in.  Coen did so quite deftly and then showed his sister, who proceeded to whip corn kernels into the poor thing's mouth, overhand.  We went to the beach after the farm and then to dinner at Julie's in Fish Creek.  Finally we ended up in Ephraim (stopping first at Wilson's Ice Cream--re-named Cookie Doug's my by father and husband who were amused at the near-missing letter 'h' in said flavor.) 

The place we stayed at was called "The Windmill" and was a lovely four-bedroom cottage a little out of the way.  Day two was overcast and sprinking so we went to the Egg Harbor YMCA and did a little swimming and playing indoors in the water.  We had a lovely lunch in Egg Harbor and then Tad and I took the kids Go-Karting.  Or riding in "go-cars" as Lucy said.  They both LOVED it.  That nigt my wonderful parents allowed Tad and I a date night. We mini-golfed at Pirate's Adventure Cove.  We walked around and climbed the tower in Peninsula State Park. We dined at The Cookery in Fish Creek and finished it off with ice cream at Wilson's. 

Day 3, we rented bikes and biked 10 miles through Peninsula State Park.  Coen made it the whole way!  We went to the beach there after and enjoyed the sun and the water and a couple icee's at the snack bar.  That night we ordered pizza from Wild Tomato Wood Fired Pizza in Fish Creek and picked up pies from Sweetie Pie's in Egg Harbor for dessert.  After dinner my dad made a nice big fire and we roasted marshmallows and ate s'mores. After the kids went to bed, Tad and I stayed up, talking and laughing with my parents.

The final day, we all got up and packed and left our lovely little Windmill Cottage.  We spent that last day at the beach in Egg Harbor (the best beach in the whole of the county, if you want my opinion).  We built sand castles and swam and ate lunch.  The way home, the kids concocted some game with their stuffed animals, leaving Tad and I to talk and listen to music.  The whole trip was really great.  It was fun to be with my parents. The weather was mostly wonderful. And we got to do pretty much all there is to do in Door County for a group of 6 with two little kids.  Now, I'm off to eat some of my chocolate covered door county sun dried cherries. 

signing out for a few days

Today at work something magical happened.  A transformer blew and all our power went out and we were sent home!  I still had my mother/daughter support group but we met at the Chancery and had dinner instead.  I got the whole mid-day to do laundry, play on the Internet, and PACK!

I get to go to Door County and stay in a cabin near Lake Michigan in Ephraim with my parents, Tad, Coen and Lucy.  My goal is not to check my email, my facebook, my blog or anything along those lines the whole time we're gone. 

I want to be on the beach, building sand castles with my kids, or in an ice cream shop, or on a bike, or on a screened in porch with some of my favorite grown ups in the world talking and laughing.  That's it!

I'll write again on Friday when we return. 

Block Party

Coen doing the bean bag toss

Lucy's friend Rain helping her put on her Parade hat

Block Party

I love my neighborhood.  We lend and borrow cups of sugar, cooking supplies and children's items.  Right now my husband is delivering a taped soccer game to our neighbor across the street who always comes over and helps us when we have a household issue.  We trade babysitting hours, skilled labor, and recipes. We watch each other's children, get each other's mail and shovel each other's walkways. 

One thing, beyond all that, that I love about my neighborhood is our annual block party.  The permit to close the street is free.  So at 3:00, we barricade either end of 55th Street and drag chairs, tables, food and games out to the middle of the road.  This year we had a kids parade (organized by me).  The kids wore hats and necklaces and blew whistles, horns and noisemakers and threw candy at their parents. Each piece of candy had a note taped to it with things that parents would like: a nap, a bottle of wine, a few hours off, a night out, and so on.  Then our neighbors hosted a bean bag toss game complete with prizes.  After dark, our other neighbors brought out a projector and showed a movie on their garage for all the kids. 

We had a great time.  It is free and fun and wonderfully cohesive.  I recommend it to anyone who likes their neighborhood!

Possibly a Craigs List world record!

   Our power cord for our laptop stopped working the other day.  As our computer slowly drained its battery until it fell asleep indefinitely, we decided we'd definitely have to get a new one.  Tad took Lucy to the Apple Store yesterday and found to his horror, that a new power cord is somewhere in the range of $80.  WHAT?!!! I love Apple products and everything but come ON!

So, while Tad thought about the worthwhile-ness of that particular purchase, he got an idea. He went on one of the Apple computers set up in the store and went to the Craigslist site.  He searched for an Apple Notebook Power cord and found a man selling one in Milwaukee for $30. 

Cordially thanking the Apple staff at the store, he and Lucy headed out to a Cell Phone store on Capitol Drive where they proceeded to purchase the same needed power cord for $50 less!

I was impressed by this tale and thought I'd share.

When bedtime is not really exactly bedtime

I don't know how it is for other parents.  When my kids go to bed...I just want them to go to bed already.  I love my children. I love spending time with them all day and as many days as possible.  BUT...at bedtime, I punch out, so to speak.  I like to put my kids to bed and enjoy the quiet of the house, watch a movie with Tad or embark on a project of my own or call a friend.  When Tad is not home, then I REALLY cherish bedtime as I have the whole house to myself. And so every time I am going to be alone in the house after bedtime, my mantra is this: Patience, patience, patience.  I try to tell myself to just enjoy reading the stories and singing lullabies and relax with the kids, not thinking about the empty house waiting for me with all my plans...  And usually it goes pretty well, the reading and singing part.  But then there are nights like last night.  The singing and the reading and even Coen adding in his own lullaby to Lucy (which incidentally lasted nearly 10 minutes, I kid you not) and then Lucy singing us a lullaby before we tucked her in.  That was fine.  And Coen's need for a long discussion about worries and concerns that always and only come out at bedtime..that was fine too.  But then I went downstairs.  I poured myself a nice glass of lemonade and set up my sewing machine to work on a project.  Not two minutes into it...  "Mama?!!!"  Coen needed to pee. So, I walked him back and tucked him in and was on the bottom step when "Mama?!!!!"  Lucy needed to pee.  So down and back up we went and I tucked her in.  Back in the living room. "Mama?!!"  I called up, "Yes, Coen?" Can you just come up one more time.  You can do Lucy first."  I hear her little voice calling out my name too.  I go back up.  "I'm not sleepy." says Lucy.  So I tell her that she can cuddle with her stuffed animals and look at her books until she gets sleepy.  "But I'm not cozy!" She says.  What I want to say is "I don't CARE if you're not cozy! I can't do anything to MAKE you cozy! Now shush and let me be!" BUT I do not say that. I tuck her blanket around her and adjust her air conditioner and kiss her on the forehead and go attend to Coen. Coen has piled endless stuffed animals on his bed, with blankets. He is dripping in sweat. "I can't sleep." He says.  "Coen." I say.  "First of all, you have not even tried to sleep yet. I was just up here three minutes ago.  Second of all..." Then I remove the millions of stuffed animals from his bed, toss the enormous heavy blanket on the floor, and help him back on his pillows, tucking a sheet around him.  "Now, that should do it." I say.  "Please, no more calling."  I head downstairs.  I sew a few fabric leaves on my newly designed T-shirt, when "Mama?!!" Lucy has to pee again.  Finally she is all tucked in. Coen calls to me as I am half way down the stairs.  I want to pound my head into the wall.  Don't I deserve to punch out already?!  I am definitely impatient with him.  I tell him angrily that if the two of them keep calling me and don't go to sleep, we can't go to the concert in Washington Park tomorrow night.  Stupid.  Now he is crying.  "Mommy, that makes me really sad. What if I have a bad dream?  I can't even call you then?"  I sigh.  You can call me in the middle of the night, but you haven't even tried to sleep yet. We're going to the concert.  We are." "No matter what?" He says, wiping his tears.  "Yes. No matter what.  Please go to sleep.  I love you." I kiss him on the head and go back to my sewing.  Of course...now I feel guilty.  I try to sew, but guilt washes over me like the humidity in my non air conditioned downstairs.  I go back up and sit on Coen's bed.  "I'm sorry I got mad", I say. "Sometimes Mommy gets frustrated when she has to keep coming upstairs over and over again. Okay?" We hug. I get up to leave. "Mom! I just have to go to the bedroom, can you wait here and tuck me in when I get back?"  Sigh.

Eventually, they both fell into slumber and I went up and kissed their sleeping faces before I went to bed. And I did, in the end, finish my shirt. Here it is in the picture below.  I know we all have our moments of parent hood we struggle with.  We do our best. We loose our cool.  We find it again.  My children woke this morning, happy and rested. No trace of last night's bedtime anxieties, issues and non-coziness.  

And we'll all go to Washington Park tonight for a concert.

No matter what. 

It is hot, but I'm okay with that.

The weather online says that it's 93 degrees but that it feels like 107.  It makes me laugh to see such an odd, prime number.  Seems so randomly chosen.

I am sitting here with Tad on the couch, which has been pushed into the middle of the living room so as to obtain the maximum possible fan blowage. 

I am drinking a mix of Outpost strawberry lemonade, bubbly lime La Croix, and ice. 

I am watching the Brewers play Arizona on mute. 

I am listening to Leonard Cohen's live disc, the Isle of White, circa 1970.  

I worked really hard today at work. Tad worked really hard at today home entertaining our children plus two more in hot weather, weather that feels, apparently like 107 degrees. 

It is hot, yes, but I feel absolutely lovely.  Relaxation earned.  Cold beverage.  Good music. And aesthetically pleasing viewing.

I hope you all feel good out there too.

Good night.

Let's go to the movies

Yesterday we spent the morning with my niece and nephew, after their sleepover at our house.  We had dinner plans at friends of ours in the evening.  Unsure what to do with our middle of the day time, Tad did a little Internet search. 

We decided to take our kids to our first ever movie theater movie as a family.  I took Coen to see "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" when he was five.  Tad took him to see "Ramona and Beezus" when he was six.  But Lucy's never been to a movie.

We went to Mayfair's AMC movie theater to see Winnie The Pooh.  To save money, I packed snacks. (naughty, I know)  I brought trail mix  and fruit snacks for the kids, caramel bugles for all four of us, chocolate covered raisins for me, and sour patch kids for Tad.  The movie was great.  Lucy alternated among clutching my arm, sitting on my lap and sitting on Tad's lap. She was mostly silent and transfixed through the whole thing.  Only once did she speak loudly...to say, "Mom! It's too dark in here for me to see what color my fruit snacks are!"  Coen giggled through the whole movie.

The best was in the beginning, they had a short about a Loch Ness monster who was looking for a nice wet place to live. She was having trouble finding one.  Everyone was telling her to be brave and strong, keep a stiff upper lip and not to cry.  This was apropos to something we've been going through with Coen. He has been easy to cry about small issues, which has been frustrating to us. But we're trying to remember our policy that it is always okay to cry...and we want our boy to feel good about his sensitivity.  In the end, she finally cried. She cried and cried until she cried a whole lake and thus, a place to live.  The moral was.  It's alright to cry.  (which, of course, made me cry).

We spent money on the movie...but we had a nice family activity indoors on a hot day.  That's worth it.

Bear bear's near death experience

I have been remiss in blogging due to the fact that I am surrounded by thirteen very intense teenagers this week. But today my family came home with a harrowing tale of a teddy bear's fall into the river. Here is the story (in pictures) of Bear bear's near-tragic accident and heroic rescue.

Lucy leans over on the bridge and *gasp!* Bear bear falls into the river

A local fisherman tries to get him out while Lucy looks on nervously.  The waterlogged bear proved to be too  heavy and broke the hook right off the line.

A local kayaker (mom of another child at Urban Ecology Center camp) is summoned and heroically saves Bear bear from a watery demise.  Tory of the UEC returns Lucy her beloved bear.

Back at home, Lucy gives Bear bear a bath in the coaster wagon.

Coen hoses off the river water.

A traumatized Teddy dries on the line.

THE END.

The Flaming Lips live...or my kind of church.

I had the happy privilege of attending not one, but two Flaming Lips shows over this weekend.  Thursday I got off work a little early and Tad, our friend Erik and I drove down to Chicago and saw the Flaming Lips at the Aragon Ballroom with Erik's sister. 
Now those of you readers who know me well know that I am not a church going person. That is not to say that I'm not spiritual.  I am.  But anyway, a Flaming Lips show is something of a spiritual experience for me. Its like my version of church.  Wayne Coyne is an amazing front man, lead singer, stage presence, and sermonizer.  He gets up there in between songs full of love and light and balloons and confetti and talks about LOVING EACH OTHER and appreciating life and personal growth and doing things that mean something to the world and those around you.  If that's not a message that a roomful of joyful, sweating, dancing people needs to hear, I don't know what is.  Below is a link that someone posted on youtube of the show, the opening number... Race For the Prize...

And they ended with Do You Realize.. the song Tad and I had played at our wedding after we were officially husband and wife.

Do you realize
That you have the most beautiful face
do you realize we're floating in space
Do you realize that happiness makes you cry
Do you realize that everyone you know, someday, will die

But instead of saying all of your goodbye's
Let them know you realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good thing last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion of the world spinning round.

Saturday, Tad and I met friends at Summerfest and saw them yet again at the 10:00 show at the Harley Stage.  The crowd was more Milwaukee...  lots more connectedness, lots more drunkenness :)  And the show was more rocking, less ethereal.  I favored the Chicago show, while Tad favored Milwaukee.  But it was the best to have seen both.  My favorite number at the Milwaukee show was WHAT IS THE LIGHT.  It is a song that makes me proud to be who I am.

WHAT IS THE LIGHT
THAT YOU HAVE
SHINING ALL AROUND YOU?
IS IT CHEMICALLY DERIVED?

Cause if its natural, something glowing from inside, shining all around you, its potential has arrived.

Here is the link....

Flaming Lips at the Aragon in Chicago

The 3rd of July

We had a lovely third of July.  The whole morning, Tad was ill and Coen seemed out of sorts, falling down in tears or stomping off in anger about every little disappointment.  After feeling frustrated in the morning, about Coen's reactions to things, I took both kids upstairs and talked to them about 'appropriate' or pleasant and 'inappropriate' or unpleasant reactions.   We had a role-play where Coen and Lucy were the mom and dad and I was the kid. I had them  in turns saying yes or no to things I asked and I sometimes would fall on the floor and whine and cry or handle things in a better fashion. I had them calling out "Good Reaction!" or "Bad Reaction!"  They loved the game and honestly, it seemed to color the rest of the day, as anytime anyone began to whine or fuss, I would say "oooooh! is that a good reaction or a bad reaction" and it would end in laughter.

Tad did end up feeling very very ill so he stayed home.  My friend Brian came over and he and I packed up the kids, the stroller, the cooler and some blankets in to the Subaru and headed down to the lakefront.  We played games and talked and ate and at about 6:00 my friend Rebecca joined us.  Back at home, around 5:00, Tad woke up from his sleep and felt well enough to join us. He took the city bus.  We were all sitting on our blankets talking when my sister said "Tad!" I looked up, and there he was!  Suddenly I was transported to 2001. My heart was pounding, my cheeks felt flushed and I was newly in love all over again.  Just seeing him there by surprise did that.  How lucky am I?!!!

The display was long and lovely with a wonderful double grand finale. During the display, Coen leaned over and said, "Mama? When is the grand finale."  I looked at my son, channelling my own mom, 31 years ago and smiled, saying "You'll know."

And he did.

My two friends, my family and I crammed into our Subaru for the ride home...me in the trunk, my legs slung over the handle of the wagon, my back against the cooler and my hand on the stroller to keep it from tumbling upon me.  Lucy was asleep before we pulled out of the parking lot and Coen dreamily listened to our adult chatter all the way home.  I felt happy in the back of the car, thinking how happy I was to be with these people that I love for my favorite event of the year and also that I'm 36 years old and can still cram in the trunk of a car!

Happy Fourth, everyone.

My favorite day

Today is my favorite day of the year.  The third of July.  Today is a big, fun, FREE event that happens every year in Milwaukee.  The "US Bank" fireworks (formerly known as the Firststar Bank Fireworks).  I have only missed this event two years of my life--the two years I was in the Peace Corps in Estonia.  I have gone every year since I was one month old.  Both my kids have gone every year of their lives.  I. Love. This. Day!

My parents go down there at 9:00 in the morning and stake out our spot.  It is amazing to me how respectful everyone is of each others' claims for space. Blankets, tents, canopies, and in our case four wooden stakes and some yellow twine mark off the spot where we will sit.  Then later on we all go down with blankets and coolers and activities for the kids around 3:00 in the afternoon.

 We sit and eat sandwiches and treats. We play games. We talk.  We take little walks around to see all the people who've come.  I love it that this event continues to be free year after year.  I love it that my family spends a concentrated six hours on a blanket together waiting for the main event.  I love the fireworks themselves.  Usually one of my children finds their way to my lap where we cuddle and watch the display, making ooh's and aaah's along with the crowd.

Today Tad woke up with a sick stomach.  Coen seems a little tenuous, falling apart at little things.  At the moment he's terribly affronted as his sister has chosen to sit on a chair nearer the TV rather than on the couch with him.  Me?  I promised myself I'd keep positive today, enjoying this day I love so much, no matter what happens.  I'll post again tomorrow and tell you how it all turns out.

Let your laughter fill the room

Coen recently asked me what my favorite thing in the whole world is...and when I started to answer that it was him, and his sister and Tad...he said "No no, not people...what's your favorite thing in the world BESIDES people?"  Now, it was bedtime and I think he was stalling, but I had to hand it to him, it was an interesting question. I told him I'd have to consider it awhile; this is not a question to be taken lightly.

When I was on my run this morning, the answer came to me.  My favorite thing in the world, besides all the people in it, is uncontrollable, helpless laughter.  When you are doubled over, on the floor laughing so hard your stomach hurts and  you can not stop.  Oh, yes, that is my favorite thing in all the world. 

I have always gotten laugh attacks. I don't know if it happens to everyone...  When something just strikes you as funny and the funny goes on and on and you can't stop. My mom gets them too. I wonder if its hereditary. It strikes me that its been a while since I've had a good laugh attack.  I'll have to start looking for silliness...  In the meantime, I better go tell my son the answer to his question. I think he'll like it.

Today was a much better day

 

 

 

 

 

Ironically, this picture was taken on the broken bench outside the gas station before purchasing ice cream.

Last night, after my traumatic evening (see yesterday's post), Tad and I put the kids to bed and sat up talking in the quiet of our living room. TV off, laptop closed, a few candles going and our voices.  We talked about parenting individually and together and how we both have such different parenting styles that sometimes its hard to mesh.  He told me some funny stories about the kids-things I'd missed and I told him about work stuff. 
I woke up this morning feeling much much better. 

My mom, when I met she and my dad at Alterra to hand over my kids, handed me an envelope from my cousin.  My cousin just read my blog and wanted to help in some way. She gave us a gift that was impossibly generous and extremely thoughtful...and just at the right time.  How lucky am I to have such friends and family in my life...  not just people who have helped us out this year, but also those who have supported us, and loved us.  Wow.

I stopped home after teaching a class in West Bend this morning and had lunch with Tad, throwing a load of wash in on my way out.  Later in the afternoon, I had a voice mail.  It was Tad.

"Oh! Hello there.  I am leaving this message for Alie Kriofske Mainella...  You were at my house earlier today... Well, you left your under wear on the floor.  Just thought I'd let you know."

I must have dropped some laundry.  That message made me laugh and laugh.  My kids are in bed now.  I hope to talk to my cousin tonight, and possibly a friend too.  Then I'll read my novel with the Brewer game on in the background.  I love it when another day comes.